As you may have noticed, candidates have been announcing their intention to run for president in 2008 very early. Some (John McCain, Rudy, Hillary) have been running since early 2006 in preparation for a race in the far-off future. Unfortunately for me, I will be unable to vote in the upcoming election for president. The trade-off for the time I could spend deciding who to vote for is replaced with something else, something more... major. As many of you know, the minimum age for a president is 35, an age I will get to in 2028, an election year. Therefore, I, Joseph LoPresti hereby announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America in the year 2028.
I'm not too concerned about my own campaign once I win the primary; I am probably only the second or third person to announce that they are running, and every psychic in the state knows that 2028 will be a Republican year. I'm more concerned with my opponents' campaigns. Because most of the people who will run probably won't announce for another 3 or 4 years, my negative campaigning strategies will be unable to pay off, as the only other Republicans running in the primary live in Utah or something. Therefore, I will need to use positive campaign ads for myself, a strategy that is known for its "honesty," a word that does not exist in the vocabulary of the Washington elite such as my 35-year old self (R-[insert red state here]). This could result in me slipping a few points, due to the fact that the voters will not be aware that my opponents gamble, cheat on their spouses, and do other naughty things.
I will also need to start the great tradition here in American politics - raising money and sucking up to the special interests. Right now, I have a 100% rating from every special interest in the country, due to the fact that I have never voted on anything. However, I need to protect this for the future. Therefore, my campaign will take the following stances:
-Pro-life
-Pro-choice
-Pro-gun
-Pro-gun control
-Pro-Gay Marriage
-Anti-Gay Marriage
-Hard-Core Republican
-Maverick, Independent-minded, Bipartisan Negotiator
I will also be more than willing to accept donations in any amount between 10,000 and 99,999 dollars (6 figures makes it look like I am sucking up to big business, which I am [not]) from you, your special interest, your lawyer, your aging great-grandparents, your small and/or large business, or your local politicians, assuming they do not run themselves. Remember, I must have at least 666,000,000,000,000 dollars by the end of the third quarter of 2011, or I will be out of the race before it even begins. I will also need my supporters to set up a few 527s to raise money for advertising purposes.
Remember, with the anniversary of just about everything always right around the corner, I will need to up the ante on one-issue speeches to organizations that could get me closer to my 666 trillion dollar goal. If they notice me, I may get some much-needed face time on 60 Minutes for my under-the-radar campaign for the future of the nation. That being said, I must not be seen as someone who is likely to win. Therefore, I must pretend to run a low-key campaign in every state that does not start with "N" or "I" and end in "ew Hampshire" or "owa." I must be seen as the underdog, the sensible, under-appreciated minor candidate, and a friend of the common man. Then, and only then, will I be able to dominate the GOP scene as an uberpower in American politics.
I need supporters if I am to win in any election. Therefore, I need all of you supporters of mine (that is, assuming the readers support me) to get out there and tell people about my stances on the issues (both of them). Make sure you include my love of everything close to their hearts. I need to have a large variety of supporters who take every possible stance on everything. If I can do this, I will be able to win in 2028, putting me on the fast track to re-election in 2032, my campaign for which I intend on starting sometime next week.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
The Rise and Fall of the Democratic Congress
It seems like only yesterday the Democrats were celebrating their historic Senate victory of a one-seat lead in the sixth year of an unpopular president. During an extremely unpopular war. When the leading Republican Party was filled with so many scandals, even diehard conservatives either stayed home or voted Democratic. With only 49 actual Democrats, relying on a Senator they abandoned during the race and an unaffiliated Socialist to create a majority. However, it seems that now, less than a year later, the Dems are already losing their grip on the Senate.
If you think the President is unpopular, you’re right. In a July 11th Newsweek poll, Bush had 29% approval and 64% disapproval, for a net approval rating of -35%. But, amazingly, the Congress has managed to do even worse. In a July 9th AP-Ipsos poll, Congress had 24% approval and 70% disapproval, for a whopping -46% net approval rating from the people. Not exactly an outcry for the status quo, but definitely not a plea for Comrade Pelosi to ride in and save the world.
However, the Senate can still return to the Republicans before the 2008 elections. All we need is a way to get Joe Lieberman. Although Lieberman was the 2000 Democratic Party nominee for Vice President, he had a bit of a falling out with the party in 2006. Lieberman represents Connecticut, a liberal state by most standards, where support for Iraq is very low. Because he supports the mission, the Democratic voters in Connecticut decided to nominate Ned Lamont instead. Rather than sitting back and conceding defeat right then and there, however, Lieberman decided to run as an Independent, and ended up winning the election. Although he decided to caucus with the Democrats, he has supported the Republicans on a number of issues, most notably the Iraq resolution passed by the Democrats, which he opposed. All we need is for him to support one more Republican idea: affiliation with the Republican Party. This shouldn’t be too hard, if we’re willing to work for it.
If we can’t get Lieberman, it’s not the end of the world. We’ll just have to wait for the inevitable to happen in 2008. We only need to capture 2 seats to take control of the Senate, and that shouldn’t be too hard, considering the number of close Democratic seats where circumstances have drastically changed. I’ll start with the best news. John Kerry, although still fairly popular in Massachusetts, 63% of people in the rabidly liberal state do not want him to run again, with only 37% wanting him to run. This is great news in Massachusetts, which has an all-Democratic Congressional delegation. Another good seat for the GOP is that of Mary Landrieu of Louisiana. She won by a narrow margin of about 4% in a runoff in 2002, but after Katrina, many loyal Democrats have left the state, and when you take out their vote, the results are amazing. According to Human Events, Landrieu would have lost by 18 points had only the current population voted in 2002. Add to that the safety of most of the Republicans running in 2008 (save John Sununu, who could easily lose), and the Senate will most likely return to the GOP.
Therefore, I will not be surprised in 2008 when the GOP takes everything back. The Dems are simply not effective leaders in the Internet Age, where voters can read about their every blunder as it happens. When the next vote rolls around, they will remember the damage Bush did in his 8 years, but they will also remember the damage the Democratic Congress did in only 2, and they will remember Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and their insanity. In short, the “rise” in the Rise and Fall of the Democratic Congress is long gone, and the “fall” is coming just in time for the 2008 votes.
If you think the President is unpopular, you’re right. In a July 11th Newsweek poll, Bush had 29% approval and 64% disapproval, for a net approval rating of -35%. But, amazingly, the Congress has managed to do even worse. In a July 9th AP-Ipsos poll, Congress had 24% approval and 70% disapproval, for a whopping -46% net approval rating from the people. Not exactly an outcry for the status quo, but definitely not a plea for Comrade Pelosi to ride in and save the world.
However, the Senate can still return to the Republicans before the 2008 elections. All we need is a way to get Joe Lieberman. Although Lieberman was the 2000 Democratic Party nominee for Vice President, he had a bit of a falling out with the party in 2006. Lieberman represents Connecticut, a liberal state by most standards, where support for Iraq is very low. Because he supports the mission, the Democratic voters in Connecticut decided to nominate Ned Lamont instead. Rather than sitting back and conceding defeat right then and there, however, Lieberman decided to run as an Independent, and ended up winning the election. Although he decided to caucus with the Democrats, he has supported the Republicans on a number of issues, most notably the Iraq resolution passed by the Democrats, which he opposed. All we need is for him to support one more Republican idea: affiliation with the Republican Party. This shouldn’t be too hard, if we’re willing to work for it.
If we can’t get Lieberman, it’s not the end of the world. We’ll just have to wait for the inevitable to happen in 2008. We only need to capture 2 seats to take control of the Senate, and that shouldn’t be too hard, considering the number of close Democratic seats where circumstances have drastically changed. I’ll start with the best news. John Kerry, although still fairly popular in Massachusetts, 63% of people in the rabidly liberal state do not want him to run again, with only 37% wanting him to run. This is great news in Massachusetts, which has an all-Democratic Congressional delegation. Another good seat for the GOP is that of Mary Landrieu of Louisiana. She won by a narrow margin of about 4% in a runoff in 2002, but after Katrina, many loyal Democrats have left the state, and when you take out their vote, the results are amazing. According to Human Events, Landrieu would have lost by 18 points had only the current population voted in 2002. Add to that the safety of most of the Republicans running in 2008 (save John Sununu, who could easily lose), and the Senate will most likely return to the GOP.
Therefore, I will not be surprised in 2008 when the GOP takes everything back. The Dems are simply not effective leaders in the Internet Age, where voters can read about their every blunder as it happens. When the next vote rolls around, they will remember the damage Bush did in his 8 years, but they will also remember the damage the Democratic Congress did in only 2, and they will remember Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and their insanity. In short, the “rise” in the Rise and Fall of the Democratic Congress is long gone, and the “fall” is coming just in time for the 2008 votes.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Welcome, welcome, welcome!
Welcome to Politics as Usual, my latest attempt to show the world what I believe, why I believe it, what's going on, and what we can create for the future. Because America is the most powerful nation in the world, our political goings-on are important to all people, especially to the people here in America. I will try to post here every Wednesday, and if I'm not there on that day, I'll post on Thrusday or Saturday. I hope you enjoy this view into my political mind.
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